Considerations Before Relocating Your Children

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Considerations Before Relocating Your Children

Hong Kong is a cosmopolitan city, attracting many individuals from various countries to live, work and raise children. In the heat of a divorce, many expatriates may decide they no longer want to remain in Hong Kong and many times, individuals decide to relocate back to their home country. Unfortunately, this may be a complicated situation if you and your spouse are from different countries and the neutral destination to raise your children may continue to be Hong Kong. With that being said, if you are set on relocating with the children in the midst of a divorce, there are important things to consider before you make a final decision to move away with your children.

First of all, if your spouse does not agree to you and your children’s relocation, your plan for a fresh start may not be as easy as you think. Relocation applications can be extremely expensive and can result in a long drawn-out litigated process through the Family Court system. While the Family Court will consider your request to move the children out of Hong Kong, it is usually not a quick decision but rather a well thought-out order by the Family Court. Thus, it could be months or even years before you are given the green light to move with your children to another country.

Before you make a decision to remove your children from Hong Kong, here are some helpful tips to consider before you make this life-altering decision:

1. Think About the Best Interests of Your Children
Is this move beneficial for your children? When you relocate your children, you are moving them away from the other parent. That may be appealing to you in a messy divorce, but to your children, this may be a devastating reality. Think about what is in the best interests of your children first and foremost. If your ex-spouse has an equal timeshare with the children, it may not be that easy to move the children away from their current home country. You will also want to consider the fact that you may be moving your children away from the support system (both family and friends) that they are used to. When this becomes a litigated matter, your desire to move away may not happen immediately, so you also need to consider what the best timing is for your children’s transition in this relocation. If your children are old enough to understand your decision to move, you may want to have open dialogue with them as to their wishes on whether they want to move at all.

2. Have a Plan
Have you thought out the relocation plan all the way through? What school will your children attend and is this school up to par with the current school that your children are attending? Who is going to help care for the children when you are unable to be there for them? Do you have family and/or friends who are in the vicinity to help with childcare and be a support system to you and your children? Do you have a job lined up and is this really a better opportunity than the current employment situation that you are facing in Hong Kong? These are just a few questions to ask yourself prior to the relocation of your family. These are also some questions the Court will want you to explain prior to making its decision so it is important to have a plan and not make a decision based on a whim.

3. Communicate With the Other Parent
Communicate with the other parent about your desire to move. You may be surprised that he or she may be willing to work with you in allowing the relocation. This will also help you avoid costs associated with a litigated motion to move. Communicating with the other parent will also help you and your ex-spouse figure out an appropriate parenting plan and visitation schedule, which may include online “virtual visitation” through Skype, Facetime or ZOOM. It is also important to discuss travel expenses for visitation now that the two of you are no longer living in the same city/country. Open communication may reduce conflict between you and your ex-spouse and reassures the other parent that you are not trying to cut him or her out of the children’s lives. It shows the other parent that you want them to be involved despite the distance.

These are some important questions to ponder upon before you make an ultimate decision to move forward with a relocation application. It is important to remember that Hong Kong is a member of The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction and any individual who unilaterally and wrongfully removes a child from the jurisdiction will be subject to the Convention. Thus, it is important that you speak to a solicitor in this process so that he/she will be able to help you navigate the legal system in this life-changing decision. Ultimately, this should not be an impulsive decision but one that is well thought out and planned appropriately.

Reasons To Break Up With Your Divorce Solicitor

When you are in a rocky relationship, there may come a time when you realize it is in your best interest to break up and move on. Breaking up is hard to do, especially when you are invested in the relationship and the uncertainty of what lies ahead is daunting. In a divorce, this is especially true since all the comforts of your past are no longer the face of your future.

In a divorce, you are mourning the death of your relationship and so the last thing you want to worry about is another difficult relationship…but with your divorce solicitor. If anything, the legal assistance that you seek and require in this difficult circumstance should somewhat ease the burden your divorce.

Unfortunately, that is not always the reality for some individuals who are in difficult solicitor-client relationships. But how do you know you are in a solicitor-client relationship terrible enough to warrant a break-up?

Here are five signs that it might be time to cut-ties with your divorce solicitor and find a better fit for you and your situation:

1. Your solicitor blows you off: If your solicitor does not return your calls or emails within a reasonable time frame, this may be cause for concern. Communication with your solicitor is key in order to move your case forward and to resolution. If he or she refuses to return your calls or answer your questions, it might be time to start looking for alternative representation and find a solicitor who will pay attention to you and your concerns.

2. Your solicitor keeps you in the dark about your case: It is not in your best interests if your solicitor is not keeping you informed of the details of your case. For example, if you are kept in the dark about communications your solicitor is having with your spouse’s solicitor, or you are not privy to documents being prepared or exchanged on your behalf, then it is time to raise the red flag. You have the right to know what is happening in your case, so demand it.

3. Your solicitor makes unilateral decisions without your input or approval: While your solicitor is knowledgeable about the legalities of your case, your input and approval is necessary because the decisions will affect your life. That is why it is important that your solicitor consults with you before any major decisions are made about your case. As such, if you do not understand the terms and concepts of what is occurring, it is imperative that you ask your solicitor to explain the process and what it will mean for you and your family now and in the long-term.

4. You and your solicitor do not see eye-to-eye on strategy: In a divorce, you will be faced with very important choices as to how you want your case to proceed. While there may be moments where you and your solicitor may disagree, there should be agreement on the overall strategy in terms of bringing your case to resolution. If you are inclined to proceed with a mediated divorce and your solicitor is pushing you towards a more aggressive and litigated divorce or vice versa, your current solicitor-client relationship may not necessarily be the best fit. To avoid any surprises, it is best to discuss your vision from the get-go of your relationship.

5. Your solicitor has not prepared for Court: If you get the sense that your solicitor does not know the details of your case and is not prepared for court or has not prepared the barrister to represent you at court, then it may be prudent to start asking your solicitor questions about his or her lack of preparation. You have hired your solicitor to represent your interests and to be your voice. If he or she does not know your case and you are doing much of the legwork, it may be in your best interest to move on to a new solicitor-client relationship.

Remember that in a divorce, you are already dealing with a challenging situation. Your solicitor should not make the process more difficult, but rather assist you in navigating the somewhat overwhelming legal system. Like any healthy relationship, communication is key!

Finding The Right Solicitor In A Divorce

When a decision is made to divorce, you are forced to become familiar with the legal world and what may seem like, a legal minefield. This is not an easy task given the legal jargon and technicalities involved in filing for divorce and navigating it until the end. Whilst some couples attempt to navigate the legal process on their own, others choose to hire legal representatives (solicitors and barristers) to assist them and take charge of the legal process. Finding legal representation should not be taken lightly because your relationship with your solicitor will last for a significant period of time and may even extend beyond the actual divorce if there are post-divorce issues to be ironed out.
Here are tips on what to look for when searching for the right divorce solicitor:

1. Do Your Research: Before you decide on a solicitor to assist with your divorce, conduct your own research on who you might want to hire. Conduct an online search and see if any articles or reviews have been posted about the solicitor or his/her law firm. Take your research outside of the Web and ask friends or extended family for a referral. Word of mouth is a great resource. By chatting with others in your community, you will get a better sense of the solicitor’s reputation in the community and whether he/she will be a good fit for you and what you are hoping to achieve in your divorce. Some solicitors have a more aggressive approach to divorce, whilst others are more mediation/settlement minded. You should consider how you want to approach your divorce and your goals and whether it aligns with your solicitor. You should also consider the financial impact a divorce will have on the matrimonial pot and approach your solicitor with that in mind as legal fees will skyrocket the more you litigate.

2. Ask Questions: Before you sign an engagement letter to hire your solicitor, do not be afraid to ask a lot of questions. How does the solicitor bill for his or her work? What is the solicitor’s hourly billing rate? Does the solicitor have assistants and paralegals? If so, will they be doing a significant portion of the work on your case? What are the hourly billing rates for assistants and paralegals working on your case? These questions are important because it will help you determine if you can afford the solicitor’s services going forward. Divorce is a long and expensive process. The initial retainer fee/costs on account will only get you so far and often, you can expect to pay additional fees and costs going forward. An initial meeting with the solicitor is also important because you can see if you and the solicitor are on the same page and whether your personalities gel together. This will be a long working relationship so it’s important that you and your solicitor work well together.

3. Don’t Be Afraid To Make Decisions: If you’ve hired a solicitor and come to find you are not happy with the relationship, do not be afraid to first discuss the issues you have with your solicitor in a transparent and frank conversation with your solicitor. If that is insufficient, then do not be afraid to change your solicitor and find a solicitor that is right for you. While you do not want to get into the habit of switching solicitors on a frequent basis, it is not unreasonable to change your representation when there is a true breakdown in the relationship between you and your solicitor. You may be hesitant to switch your solicitor after investing so much time and money, but remember you are likely to save more money in the long run with the right solicitor and get the results you desire with the right partnership.

Finding the right solicitor to handle your divorce is crucial. The right working relationship will determine the trajectory of your divorce, so make an informed decision before you navigate the legal landscape.

Hong Kong Divorce: A Day In The Life – Lauren Ng, Family Law Trainee

In this series, we follow along individuals who are paving a path in the Family Law community in Hong Kong.

Today, we are speaking with Lauren Ng, family law trainee at Oldham, Li & Nie. In this article, we delve into Lauren’s foray into the Family Law arena and what it takes to survive in what is a very personal, human-focused area of law.

Lauren, tell the Hong Kong Divorce community how you started out in your career. Where did you study and what did you study in order to get to be a “trainee” in the legal field?

I did my Bachelor of Laws degree at the Bristol University in UK. I then did my Postgraduate Certificate in Laws at Hong Kong University which is a programme all prospective lawyers have to take in order to qualify in Hong Kong.

Did you always know you wanted to be a lawyer?

When I was young I actually wanted to be a zoologist or do something related to animals but I quickly realized that this was not a feasible career in Hong Kong. It was only in secondary school when I started thinking about university that I began considering law as a career option.

What made you decide you wanted to create a path for yourself in family law in particular?

While I was at Bristol University, I took the Family Law elective and the International Child Law elective which was taught very passionately by Professor Judith Mason and this really got me interested in this area of the law.

As a trainee, can you tell me what a typical day looks like and the type of work that keeps you busy each day?

A typical day for me would involve drafting various documents such as letters to the opposing side or affidavits. I would also attend client meetings with a partner where my main role would be to take notes and draft follow up emails to the client.

As of the publication of this article, you are now titled “paralegal” – Can you tell us the progression of the trainee contract, how long it lasts for and the steps after that in order to become an associate solicitor?

All trainees have to complete a 2 year training contract before they can apply to be admitted in Hong Kong to become an associate solicitor. I am currently a paralegal as I am in the interim period where I have just completed my training contract but am waiting to be admitted.

What difference/contribution do you hope to make in the family law community in Hong Kong?

Divorce is always a difficult process and I hope that I am able to contribute by helping our clients to the best of my ability and to achieve the best possible outcome for them.

Do you have any advice for other aspiring family law solicitor hopefuls?

Just to always be open to the opportunities out there and be willing to put in the hard work!

 

Thank you again for taking the time to speak with me Lauren.  We wish you all the best of luck in your future and we know you’ll make a wonderful mark in the family law community in Hong Kong!

Managing Emotions During The Divorce Process

Anger, sadness, guilt, anxiety, grief and loss are just some of the various emotions that you may be experiencing as a result of your divorce. Due to this vortex of emotions, it is not uncommon for you to act in an uncharacteristic manner.

Acknowledging and being aware of your feelings during the divorce process is the first step in managing your emotions. It is the management of your emotions that will help you overcome some of the more difficult aspects of your divorce, in addition to building a foundation of peace and harmony with your former spouse as many of you will need to co-parent throughout your lifetime.

While many challenging issues must be addressed with the assistance of solicitors and the Family Law courts, many issues couples face can be resolved without the assistance of professionals and should be considered before calling professionals for help.  It should be noted that calling your solicitor every time you experience a stressful event is extremely costly and does not lay a foundation for problem solving once the divorce is complete. That is why it is important for individuals to think creatively and with an open mind about how to resolve issues on their own so that your well-earned money can be used for a useful purpose rather than towards solicitor fees and costs.

Here are some practical applications on how to manage emotions during the divorce process in hopes that it will ease the long and difficult divorce process.

  1. Flexible Thinking:  Flexible thinking means that you do not automatically reject what your former spouse may say when new ideas are discussed or decisions need to be made. This includes having the ability to think outside of the box and coming up with alternative proposals for problem solving rather than just fighting for your first and only idea.
  2. Check Yourself:  It is always important to check yourself and your reactions to your spouse. Are you saying no because you are angry and upset over what your spouse did to you in the relationship? Are you saying no to spite your spouse? Or are you making decisions based on the situation at hand and what is best for you and your family going forward? Ask these questions before you respond to your spouse. When you make decisions that are born out of a rational and calm thought-process, you may find that you are making better decisions.
  3. Focus on the Big Picture:  Look at the big picture and write your goals down on paper so that you can keep track of what you are hoping to accomplish at the end of your divorce and beyond. For example, if your goal is to be cost conscious, you may be inclined to take steps to reduce solicitor fees such as mediation versus litigation. Mediation will require you to be more willing to compromise rather than leave all decisions up to the Family Court.  If your goal is to make the divorce a peaceful and as seamless as possible transition for your children, you may think differently about how you react and respond to your spouse in front of your children.

With all of this being said, divorce is a difficult and long process, similar to a marathon.  It is important to allow yourself to indulge in the emotions you are feeling during the process. Be sure to contact trusted family and friends and seek professional assistance from psychological experts if you need a safe place to process through your emotions. Do your best however to keep your emotions out of the divorce process because divorce is essentially a legal business transaction.

 

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