Hong Kong Divorce x Sassy Mama – International Women’s Day 2023: Spotlight on Women in Business

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Hong Kong Divorce x Sassy Mama – International Women’s Day 2023: Spotlight on Women in Business

Hong Kong Divorce was recently featured in Sassy Mama’s International Women’s Day Promotion 2023.  Here’s a look at our Feature Article!

Celebrating these leading Hong Kong ladies by exploring their efforts to #EmbraceEquity.

Women should be celebrated every day! Though International Women’s Day is a great reminder for us to focus on the awesomeness of females around the world and what they have achieved. When it comes to exceptional women, Hong Kong is most definitely no exception. This year, we’re shining a spotlight on women in business who embody this year’s theme: #EmbraceEquity.

Caroline Choi — Founder Of Hong Kong Divorce

Let’s face it, divorce can be a difficult process emotionally and financially for all involved. That’s why Caroline Choi created Hong Kong Divorce, a free educational tool and resource for individuals struggling to navigate the system in Hong Kong. It aims to set out in simple terms what you can expect to encounter in the run-up to a divorce, and during the long and sometimes complicated process that may follow. Its mission is to provide a concise and clear overview of the law, answer common queries and provide general support to those in need. She shares her thoughts on the need to #EmbraceEquity, especially for women going through a separation.

What is your proudest achievement?

I recently got married!  Throughout my career, people always have asked if divorce law has made me skeptical about marriage. Marriage is a beautiful thing and I always tell my clients that even if they get a divorce, it is never too late to try again and find your partner. Divorce is challenging and can feel like a long marathon, but once you cross that finish line, it’s an opportunity for a fresh start.

What changes have you made in your life to #EmbraceEquity?

I created Hong Kong Divorce with equity in mind, which is to provide every individual with free access to information that may be difficult to obtain without hiring costly solicitors and barristers. Whilst it does not provide legal advice, it does provide individuals with basic information on how to navigate divorce in Hong Kong, giving individuals the knowledge and power of how to proceed. There is also helpful information from mental health professionals and resources designed to assist families on an emotional level.

How do you see the position of women and girls in Hong Kong?

In divorce, women may sometimes feel at a disadvantage, especially in Hong Kong where traditional cultural values remain in place. Hong Kong Divorce aims to provide all individuals, regardless of gender with free access to information, with the knowledge that it will often be women feeling those cultural pressures who need better access to these resources. With this knowledge comes the power to make informed decisions for their future and the future of their children.

 

Hong Kong Divorce, www.hongkongdivorce.com, Facebook: Hong Kong Divorce

Read More: Where To Find Counselling, Psychologists And Therapists In Hong Kong

 

Other Women in Business:
Ziggy Makant — Women’s Health & Fitness Advocate
Crisel Consunji — Singer, Actress & Founder of Baumhaus
Betty Richardson — Food Writer & Influencer
Shima Shimizu — Founder of Foodcraft

Read More: Embracing Equity In The Hong Kong Workplace — Is Your Office Up To Scratch?

 

5 Important Things to Do Before You File for Divorce

When a couple decides to divorce, it is usually never a spontaneous decision but rather a long evolving process that has culminated to this point over a period of time. It is important that during this process, you are prepared should you and your spouse decide to file for divorce.  There are many things you can do to prepare for divorce and in this article, we will provide you with some useful tips on what to consider ahead of a divorce:

  1. Thoughtfully Consider Whether Divorce Is Right For You: Before you jump into a decision to divorce, it is important that you thoughtfully consider whether divorce is the right option for you. Many couples for example, choose separation over divorce especially if there are health insurance or religious reasons to consider.  Divorce is a life-changing decision and it should not be made spontaneously but considered over a period of time after you have had an opportunity to consider what divorce would mean for you and your children.  During this time, you may want to speak to a therapist or even try couples counseling in an attempt to either solidify your decision to divorce or reconsider divorce.
  2. Have Thorough Discussions With Your Spouse (and Children) and Your Solicitor: Before you divorce, you may want to have a series of discussions with your spouse about whether divorce is the right decision for you as a couple and for the family.  In your discussions, you may want to discuss whether divorce is the right option for you as a couple and if you do divorce, how would that look.  For example, in your discussions with your spouse, you could talk about how you want to divide finances or how to split care and control of the children.  Generally speaking, if you have mature and reasoned discussions with your spouse prior to the filing of a divorce Petition, there is more possibility that your divorce will not be litigious since you and your spouse have discussed the divorce beforehand. If you surprise your spouse with divorce papers, there may be shock and feelings of betrayal involved which may not bode well going forward in the divorce. Additionally, you may want to schedule an initial meeting with a solicitor to discuss divorce and what it would mean for you to file for divorce and discuss your legal rights and any concerns/questions you may have related to a divorce.  The solicitor will be able to guide you as to the timing of your divorce petition and the things to consider when filing for your divorce petition. This initial information-gathering meeting is important so that you are prepared for what’s to come.
  3. Gather All Necessary Information/Documents For Your Divorce: If you have decided to divorce, you will want to start organizing your life.  For example, this is now the time to gather all the necessary information/documentation related to your finances so that you are aware of your financial health.  You will need to disclose this information to your solicitor who will then prepare all the necessary financial disclosure documents for the Court.  If you do not have this information, it will be harder for your solicitor to prepare the financial disclosure documents that are necessary in your divorce.  It is also not beneficial for you to be in the dark about your finances as you will need to prepare your life post-divorce and this includes being financially independent.  In the event that you are filing a non-molestation order against your spouse, this is also the time to gather all the necessary documents and photos to support your allegations against your spouse.  If you have children, it will be important to collect all the information/documentation related to their daily schedule and any other pertinent information you believe is necessary related to care and control.
  4. Consider Your Wishes For The Divorce Regarding Finances and Children: After you have spoken to your spouse and had the initial information-gathering meeting with your solicitor, this may now be the time for you to consider what you want from the divorce.  How do you want to move forward with the divorce? Do you want to attempt mediation first? Do you and your spouse already have an agreement in place prior to a divorce? Have you reviewed your finances to consider how much maintenance (if you are entitled to it) you will need to pay for your day-to-day needs and the needs of the children? How much time do you want with the children and/or how much time will you agree to your spouse having with the children? These are a few of the important questions to ponder upon and discuss with your solicitor.
  5. Make Necessary Plans For Your Life Post-Divorce: Another aspect you should thoughtfully consider is how you want your life to look post-divorce.  Do you plan to remain living in Hong Kong or do you want to relocate to another city/country? Will you propose to take the children with you? How much money will you need to sustain your lifestyle each month? Will you need to work or switch jobs? This is your time to brainstorm how you want to plan your life once you are divorced and to start making all the necessary plans to reach those goals.  Your solicitor can assist you with this process and provide you with guidance on how you can reach your goals. You may also consider retaining a financial planner to help you with your finances and budget accordingly.

With all the tips above, the key component is open communication with both your spouse and solicitor and also knowing what you want both in a divorce and thereafter.  Whilst it may be difficult, divorce should be viewed almost like a business transaction as you and your spouse are each now negotiating the best deal for oneself.  It may be easy for emotions to get involved, but the less emotion involved, the easier the process will be.  Speak to your solicitor who can help you through this challenging journey.

Impact Of Divorce On Your Children

Children are resilient and it is true that in divorce, your child will adjust to the new normal that is established between you and your co-parent.  It is important however, to remember that even if your child is adjusting well to a divorce, there are things you can do as a parent to help them adjust to the changes in a more seamless and healthy way.  Here are some tips to consider to help ease the adjustment for your children in a divorce:

  1. Do Not Involve The Children In The Divorce Process: One way to help your children adjust to the divorce is not to involve them in the divorce process.  Many times, parents involve their children in a divorce by divulging details about the legal proceedings and the emotional difficulties the parent is facing in the divorce.  It is important not to involve your children in the divorce because when you do involve them, it will cloud the way they see the other parent and this is not healthy for their relationship with the other parent.  This could also be used as ammunition against you in legal proceedings and be classified as parental alienation.  Rather than focus on the litigation fight, focus instead on the bigger picture.  You and your ex-spouse will have to co-parent with one another for the rest of your lives.  You will both want to be at your child’s wedding and will want to have an ongoing relationship with them forever.  It is better to be at peace with your ex-spouse in the co-parenting journey rather than fight with one another and be embroiled in drama that is unnecessary and unhealthy for all individuals involved.   Importantly, children are too young to understand the legal complexities of divorce. It is already difficult for adults to understand the legal issues in a divorce so imagine how hard it must be for children to understand it.  If you want emotional support, rather than turn to the children, reach out instead to other family members or trusted friends to provide the support you need.
  2. Promote and Facilitate Open Communication: As a co-parent it is imperative that you facilitate and encourage open communication. This includes open communication between the co-parent and the children,  but it is also helpful if as co-parents, you are able to openly communicate with each other in cordial and friendly way.  The way in which you communicate with one another will have a great impact on the way your children will view you and how they deal with their own relationships in the future.  If you are involved in a litigious divorce and open communication is difficult, you do not have to apologize for the fact that communication is impossible with the co-parent. However, you can still encourage open communication and relationship between the co-parent and the children.  Regardless of what you are feeling and the intense emotions you may have for the other parent, it should not impact the love and relationship you encourage between the children and the other parent.  You want your child to have a good relationship with the other parent as it will impact their development.  Having a strained or non-existent relationship with a parent will only have dire effects on a child and their future relationships going forward.
  3. Consider Spending Time Together As A Family: This is a controversial tip however a good one to consider. It may be difficult, and almost impossible in some broken families to continue to spend time together as a family unit after a divorce, but it can be done.  When it is done in a healthy way, the outcome can be beautiful and wonderful healthy relationships can be forged on the basis that even though “mommy and daddy” have divorced, there is still friendship.  By establishing a friendship post-divorce with your ex-spouse, you are demonstrating to the children that the family is available to support him/her and that the family love is not lost.  It may take time to achieve a healthy and peaceful dynamic but it is worth considering reaching for this post-divorce family goal!

Do not be shy about speaking with your solicitor on his/her tips on how to forge a healthy family dynamic post-divorce. Your divorce solicitor is not only there to provide you with legal advice but he/she can also provide you with tips on how to have a healthy divorce rather than a litigious divorce. If your divorce solicitor only encourages litigation and division among the family, you may want to consider another divorce solicitor, one who is more focused on helping you achieve a healthy dynamic post-divorce.

Timeline For Divorce In Hong Kong

One of the more common questions we receive is how long does it take to obtain a divorce in Hong Kong? There is not a simple straight-forward answer as there are many considerations involved in such a timeline.  The timeline of a divorce could be impacted by your personal circumstances but also circumstances out of your control. For example, earlier this year, the courts in Hong Kong were subject to a “GAP” (a general adjournment period) due to the Covid-19 outbreak in Hong Kong.  As a result, the courts in Hong Kong were closed for an extended period of time and this caused significant delay for many individuals going through a divorce in Hong Kong.

With that being said, the Family Court in Hong Kong do have general guidelines on how long it should, practically speaking, take for cases to be concluded in Hong Kong. This is outlined in Practice Direction SL10.4 with the Family Court’s Target Time Tabling schedule.  According to this Practice Direction, after a Case Management Hearing (“CMH”) hearing is listed before the allocated judge, and in cases that involve both children and finance proceedings, the target time table is as follows:

  1. Short cases within 23 months from the Case Management Hearing;
  2. Medium cases within 27 months from the Case Management Hearing;
  3. Long cases within 32 months from the Case Management Hearing.

The time tabling estimates of course may vary if you are only dealing with finance issues.  According to the Practice Direction SL10.4, cases involving finances only, the target time table is as follows:

  1. Short cases within 13 months from the Case Management Hearing;
  2. Medium cases within 17 months from the Case Management Hearing;
  3. Long cases within 22 months from the Case Management Hearing.

It is important to note that on the issue of divorce only, if you and your spouse are not involved in a dispute on the issue of divorce and it is an undefended divorce, the timeframe from the filing of the Petition to the Decree Absolute is generally anywhere between 6 to 9 months.

It is important to speak with your solicitor about any questions you may have about the timetable for your divorce as he/she will be able to give you a better idea of how the courts are handling matters at the time of filing.  The complexity of your case will also determine the timeline as to how long it will take the courts to set down key dates/hearings.  Your solicitor should prepare you in that a divorce in Hong Kong is never quick.  It will take time to divorce in Hong Kong and it will be an involved process that requires a great deal of patience.

HK Divorce:  Helping Your Loved Ones Through Divorce

At Hong Kong Divorce, we have walked you through the many issues you may face going through a divorce and what that journey entails from a legal perspective.  For many of you, a divorce can catapult you into a difficult grieving process which can take as little or as long as you need and it is with the help and support of your loved ones, that you will be able to pull through and lead you to a new life that can be full of joy. In today’s article, we want to focus on your friends and family who are going through this journey with you and provide some practical and helpful tips your family and friends can do to support you through this difficult time.

Tip #1 – Provide A Listening Ear:  One of the most helpful ways to be there for your loved one is to listen to them when they need your support. Providing an open space for your friend or family member to express their hurts not only helps them process through the grieving process but also allows them to understand that they are loved regardless of the circumstances.  At times, you may become frustrated if you feel that the person is not moving on or repeating the same toxic patterns. However, it is important to remember that when your loved one is processing through his/her grief, a consequence of the grief is that your loved one may repeat toxic patterns as a coping mechanism to get through the pain.  As frustrating as it may be, the last thing you want to do is refuse to listen because if you refuse, you may end up pushing your loved one away.  The best thing you can provide is an open ear and provide that support by listening again and again.

Tip #2 – Do Not Judge and Be Supportive: It is also important that when you are listening to your loved one who is going through the stages of their divorce process, that you provide a listening ear that is free of judgment or scorn.  Your loved one is already in a fragile state of mind during a divorce and he/she is not looking to receive additional judgment or scorn from you.  Divorce can be extremely isolating for some individuals and part of the isolation is the feeling that he/she is being judged by the world.  You must remember that the divorce process is a marathon and it requires a lot of your loved one’s time and emotional energy. You therefore want to be the person who can provide that support in a safe space and you can do that by providing a listening ear and advice (when asked) that is free from judgment.   You want your loved one to be completely honest with you about what he/she is going through so that you can support them in the best way possible.  Your friend/family member cannot be completely honest unless they know you are a safe person to divulge their deepest sorrows during one of their most difficult times. It is during the divorce process that your loved one might also go through certain transitions and he/she may make choices that you might not be in agreement with.  However, rather than judge, allow your friend/family member to explore their new normal and figure out what works for them.  They may start dating or take on a new hobby/activity that you do not agree with. Rather than judge your friend, perhaps try and understand their choices and ask them what you can do to support them during this time.

Tip #3 – Assist In Other Helpful Ways:  A good way to support a loved one going through divorce is to simply ask him/her what he/she needs.  It might be a listening ear. It might mean a meal together or helping them with tasks around the house.  Sometimes, your friend/loved one might need financial assistance as the divorce process is not a cheap process to go through.  Consider your loved one’s needs and consider how you can help.  Even if it means delivering a nice meal to their home or helping take care of their children when they need time to go to Court or meet with their lawyers, this assistance will go a long way.

If you have never gone through a divorce, it may be difficult to empathize with a loved one going through a litigious divorce.  For many individuals, they describe divorce as a death in the family.  The grief associated with divorce can loom large in their lives and it will take time for your loved one to move on.  Be there to support your friend/family member in the best way you can and he/she will surely be appreciative of it in the long run.

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