What To Expect At A Divorce Trial

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What To Expect At A Divorce Trial

For some couples going through a divorce, key decisions about finances and the children may end up being decided by a judge at trial.  This happens if you and your spouse cannot agree on how to resolve issues between you both or with the help of a mediator.  For many couples entering the world of divorce, trial is the last thing on their minds and many individuals cannot believe that their divorce has to be decided by trial.  The reality though, is that if you and your spouse cannot agree on key issues, your case will proceed to trial in Hong Kong and these decisions will be made by one person: a judge. So, let’s discuss trial and what you can expect leading up to trial:

1. How Did You Get Here?
The first question many couples ask, is how in the world did they end up going to trial in a divorce?! When couples cannot agree on key issues mainly related to ancillary relief (finances) and the children, they will have no choice but to continue through the Court process in Hong Kong which ultimately will end up at trial if decisions/agreements cannot be reached by the parties in the meantime.  For many couples, trial is burdensome not only because it is extremely expensive, but also because it is emotionally taxing on the couple, but also the children and the effect on them of having parents who have to endure the lead up to and during the trial. Many solicitors will thus encourage couples to try and mediate during the divorce and come to an agreement on issues by way of a Consent Summons, so that the decision related to the breakup is made by the couple and not by a judge.  Unfortunately, this is not necessarily an easy feat for many couples as divorce can bring out a lot of resentment and anger. However, if you are able to put the anger and resentment aside and come up with a compromise between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse, this will always be encouraged to avoid trial.

2. Preparations for Trial
Prior to trial, your solicitor and barrister team will be hard at work preparing all the necessary documents to be filed with the Court ahead of the trial. Many times, the trial judge will hold a Pre-Trial Review hearing, to get a better understanding of the issues to be decided at trial and what work needs to be done ahead of time. At a Pre-Trial review hearing, the judge will provide each side with deadlines for filings and any other deadlines the judge sees fit.  Your solicitor and barrister will need to adhere to the deadlines set out by the court and it will require a lot of discussion with the other side so that both sides are fully prepared by the trial date.  Closer to the trial, your solicitor and barrister team will also hold several meetings with you to prepare you for trial and the testimony you will be giving.  They will run through the types of questions the other side may ask you on examination and how you should conduct yourself whilst on the witness stand.

3. What to Expect at Trial
Your solicitor and barrister team will handle each day with expertise and ease so as to make you feel comfortable and in good hands.  The trial will be emotionally taxing as you and your spouse will be taking the stand and will be examined not only by your barrister but by the other party’s barrister as well.  It is important for you to remain in constant communication and in step with your solicitor and barrister team so that you understand what is happening each day and talk to them about how the trial is proceeding. It is important to note that the judge will require you to handle the proceedings with respect and dignity.  This means wearing clothes that are conservative and respectful.  It is also important that you do not burst out with your thoughts and comments when your ex-spouse is on the stand or when his/her barrister is asking questions. You should answer questions directly and succinctly and not make personal attacks on your spouse as it is not the forum to do so, rather the judge simply wants each party to present their side so he/she can make the best and informed decision for you and your family.

4. Costs For Trial
What many couples do not realize, is that trial is extremely expensive. Leading up to the trial, there are hours upon hours of preparation by your legal team. Your legal team will often include a team of solicitors which can include partners, associates and trainees all assisting on the case. Your team may also include senior and junior barristers, depending on the complexity of your case and barristers will require their fees to be paid well in advance of the trial.  Depending on your case, you and your spouse may be responsible for fees related to experts and reports by experts on issues related to finances and the children.  There are also fixed costs to consider as well, including fees for document preparation such as photocopying and filing of documents and the related court fees. Finally, if you are unable to succeed at trial and are the losing party, you may also be responsible for the fees and costs incurred by the other party.  Thus, you could potentially be responsible not only for your own fees and costs, but the fees and costs of your ex-spouse.  The costs for trial can be overwhelming and should not be taken lightly.  You should also consider that if you or your spouse lose at trial, you may have an opportunity to appeal and this too will be extremely costly as you will remain in the litigation process and continue to incur fees for an appeal.  Thus, it is something to carefully consider before deciding to move forward with trial.

5. Can You Stop Your Trial?
Like a divorce, a trial can also be stopped before it goes forward. Your solicitor should be speaking to you about options to prevent the trial train from moving forward at epic speed.  Other options that you could consider to stop a trial from going forward, is mediation, private dispute resolution with a judge or retired judge, or even sitting down informally with your ex-spouse and coming up with an agreement that works for you both preventing potential loss as a result of a trial.

Sometimes trial cannot be avoided especially if you are in a heavily litigious divorce and are dealing with a difficult ex-spouse. However, if there are certain issues you can compromise on and work on resolving with your ex-spouse, do so and put as much attention and effort into a resolution as trial can have devastating emotional effects on you and your children.  The time spent to prepare for trial is also time that cannot be returned to you so it is important to consider all of this before you forge ahead with a trial.

Hong Kong Divorce: A Day In The Life – Lauren Ng, Family Law Trainee

In this series, we follow along individuals who are paving a path in the Family Law community in Hong Kong.

Today, we are speaking with Lauren Ng, family law trainee at Oldham, Li & Nie. In this article, we delve into Lauren’s foray into the Family Law arena and what it takes to survive in what is a very personal, human-focused area of law.

Lauren, tell the Hong Kong Divorce community how you started out in your career. Where did you study and what did you study in order to get to be a “trainee” in the legal field?

I did my Bachelor of Laws degree at the Bristol University in UK. I then did my Postgraduate Certificate in Laws at Hong Kong University which is a programme all prospective lawyers have to take in order to qualify in Hong Kong.

Did you always know you wanted to be a lawyer?

When I was young I actually wanted to be a zoologist or do something related to animals but I quickly realized that this was not a feasible career in Hong Kong. It was only in secondary school when I started thinking about university that I began considering law as a career option.

What made you decide you wanted to create a path for yourself in family law in particular?

While I was at Bristol University, I took the Family Law elective and the International Child Law elective which was taught very passionately by Professor Judith Mason and this really got me interested in this area of the law.

As a trainee, can you tell me what a typical day looks like and the type of work that keeps you busy each day?

A typical day for me would involve drafting various documents such as letters to the opposing side or affidavits. I would also attend client meetings with a partner where my main role would be to take notes and draft follow up emails to the client.

As of the publication of this article, you are now titled “paralegal” – Can you tell us the progression of the trainee contract, how long it lasts for and the steps after that in order to become an associate solicitor?

All trainees have to complete a 2 year training contract before they can apply to be admitted in Hong Kong to become an associate solicitor. I am currently a paralegal as I am in the interim period where I have just completed my training contract but am waiting to be admitted.

What difference/contribution do you hope to make in the family law community in Hong Kong?

Divorce is always a difficult process and I hope that I am able to contribute by helping our clients to the best of my ability and to achieve the best possible outcome for them.

Do you have any advice for other aspiring family law solicitor hopefuls?

Just to always be open to the opportunities out there and be willing to put in the hard work!

 

Thank you again for taking the time to speak with me Lauren.  We wish you all the best of luck in your future and we know you’ll make a wonderful mark in the family law community in Hong Kong!

Managing Emotions During The Divorce Process

Anger, sadness, guilt, anxiety, grief and loss are just some of the various emotions that you may be experiencing as a result of your divorce. Due to this vortex of emotions, it is not uncommon for you to act in an uncharacteristic manner.

Acknowledging and being aware of your feelings during the divorce process is the first step in managing your emotions. It is the management of your emotions that will help you overcome some of the more difficult aspects of your divorce, in addition to building a foundation of peace and harmony with your former spouse as many of you will need to co-parent throughout your lifetime.

While many challenging issues must be addressed with the assistance of solicitors and the Family Law courts, many issues couples face can be resolved without the assistance of professionals and should be considered before calling professionals for help.  It should be noted that calling your solicitor every time you experience a stressful event is extremely costly and does not lay a foundation for problem solving once the divorce is complete. That is why it is important for individuals to think creatively and with an open mind about how to resolve issues on their own so that your well-earned money can be used for a useful purpose rather than towards solicitor fees and costs.

Here are some practical applications on how to manage emotions during the divorce process in hopes that it will ease the long and difficult divorce process.

  1. Flexible Thinking:  Flexible thinking means that you do not automatically reject what your former spouse may say when new ideas are discussed or decisions need to be made. This includes having the ability to think outside of the box and coming up with alternative proposals for problem solving rather than just fighting for your first and only idea.
  2. Check Yourself:  It is always important to check yourself and your reactions to your spouse. Are you saying no because you are angry and upset over what your spouse did to you in the relationship? Are you saying no to spite your spouse? Or are you making decisions based on the situation at hand and what is best for you and your family going forward? Ask these questions before you respond to your spouse. When you make decisions that are born out of a rational and calm thought-process, you may find that you are making better decisions.
  3. Focus on the Big Picture:  Look at the big picture and write your goals down on paper so that you can keep track of what you are hoping to accomplish at the end of your divorce and beyond. For example, if your goal is to be cost conscious, you may be inclined to take steps to reduce solicitor fees such as mediation versus litigation. Mediation will require you to be more willing to compromise rather than leave all decisions up to the Family Court.  If your goal is to make the divorce a peaceful and as seamless as possible transition for your children, you may think differently about how you react and respond to your spouse in front of your children.

With all of this being said, divorce is a difficult and long process, similar to a marathon.  It is important to allow yourself to indulge in the emotions you are feeling during the process. Be sure to contact trusted family and friends and seek professional assistance from psychological experts if you need a safe place to process through your emotions. Do your best however to keep your emotions out of the divorce process because divorce is essentially a legal business transaction.

 

Round-Up of Divorce News

Spring has arrived and what better way to ring in the Spring season than to summarize some of the few highlights from Divorce news stories circulating the Web.

Gender and Diversity In Divorce

South China Morning Post published a story about a decision by a Court in Beijing, China ruling that a Husband should compensate his Wife for housework she had done over a period of five (5) years.  The penalty? US$7,700.  Whilst there may be some housewives out there that might scoff at the idea that 5 years’ worth of housework was only worth a penalty of US$7,700, it is in fact an interesting ruling as it places a monetary value to chores and housework.

According to the SCMP article, there has been and continues to be a larger debate in China about the role of women who stay at home rather than enter the workforce.  This is the first ruling of its kind in China since a marriage law came into effect on January 1, 2021.  With the new law in place, it will be interesting to see how this plays out and how women (who continue to mostly be in charge of housework in China) will be compensated as they are now entitled to request relief from the Court.

Chasing After The Sun

In a recent Miami Herald article, it was declared that Florida is fertile ground for love such that divorced men are choosing the state of Florida as their primary destination to move to after a divorce.  Could it be that it is perhaps the sun and that sun-kissed glow attracting newly single men to flock to the sunny Florida state?

According to the article published by the Miami Herald, a study by MagnifyMoney confirms that Florida is welcoming nearly 2,581 men in the 12 months after a divorce.  The study states that the real reason men are choosing Florida over other states is due to job opportunities and career advancement along with the lower cost of living offered by Florida as an incentive to move.   Given the current state of affairs around the globe, it also would make sense for individuals to move where space is a luxury, as is outdoor recreation activities.  After Florida, men are choosing California, then North Carolina as their second and third best destination option.

If men are heading to Florida, then where are women heading? According to the study, women opt for Texas, followed by Florida, then Georgia.

Divorce and Daughters

In a new article published by The Economist, there are several studies conducted in America which confirm that having a female first-born does in fact increase the risk of the child’s parents divorcing, particularly in America and the Netherlands.   This study conducted by Jan Kabatek of the University of Melbourne in Australia and David Ribar of Georgia State University in Atlanta, Georgia, USA also states that “daughter-divorce” risk emerges only in a first-born girl’s teenage years.  According to the researchers, the primary reason behind the “daughter-divorce” risk is based upon the fact that parents quarrel more over the upbringing of teenager daughters versus teenage sons.

Covid-19, Depression and Divorce

In unsurprising news, the BBC reports that due to the Covid-19 pandemic, there has been a rise in depression and stress among parents resulting in fears, worry and anxiety.  This has led to frequent arguments among couples, thus placing additional stress on the relationship and opening the door to couples considering separation and divorce.  Demands faced by parents are becoming increasingly stressful as parents not only are dealing with Covid-19 related fears, but the resulting effects of Covid-19 including lockdowns, home schooling mixed in with the pressures of work commitments.

According to the report, Oxford researchers are now tracking both children and parents’ mental health throughout this crisis.

Those are some of the more interesting stories hitting the web.  Stay tuned for additional summaries of interesting stories circulating the web related to divorce.

 

 

Mental Health and Divorce

It is not uncommon for many individuals to equate divorce to a death in the family.  A plethora of emotions are not uncommon and can range from feelings of freedom, happiness, remorse, sadness and guilt along with a dash of bitterness, resentment and frustration.  A divorce becomes exceptionally difficult when individuals are engaged in long, drawn-out court battles on key issues such as children, assets and ancillary relief.

In this article, we focus on the importance of enlisting the help of mental health professionals when you are going through a divorce.  It is a key way to help you heal and move forward in your life.  Mental health professionals can help you process the range of emotions you may experience during the divorce process and provide you with helpful tools to resolve issues you may be dealing with in this divorce journey.

In a time when mental health awareness is being highlighted in media and self-care is becoming a priority, there should be no shame in seeking help when it is needed to get you to a better place emotionally and spiritually.

  1. Types of Mental Health Professionals:  Before we dive into the benefits of enlisting the assistance of mental health professionals in divorce, let’s look at the types of mental health experts available to you in divorce. One mental health expert may be a therapist/psychologist. A therapist/psychologist can assist you in managing the stresses of divorce, including your expectations of the outcome. A therapist/psychologist can also help you develop new interpersonal skills that are valuable in creating healthier relationships whether it be with your spouse or your children during and after the divorce process. The interpersonal skills and tools you may learn through therapy is especially helpful if you have children and there is a need to co-parent with your ex-spouse.  If you do not have the means to hire a therapist/psychologist, there are many mental health services available such as St. John’s Cathedral Counselling Service or The Samaritans in Hong Kong which can provide emotional support and counseling services for those in distress free of charge.  Another mental health professional you may consider is a mediator who can assist you and your spouse negotiate a mutual agreement with respect to custody and access.   This is an ideal option if you and your spouse are on amicable terms and you both believe a compromise is feasible through open dialogue and communication.  To enlist a mediator to assist in custody and access issues is beneficial especially if you and your spouse agree that you do not wish to involve the court in resolving your custody and access issues.   Another option is a parenting coordinator, who can assist you and your spouse resolve minor issues such as holiday pickup arrangements and communication disputes.
  2. Benefits Of Hiring A Mental Health Professional In Divorce:  What are the benefits in hiring a mental health professional? Calming emotions, clarifying expectations and helping discuss difficult issues are just some of the essential benefits obtained through the assistance of a mental health professional. Before deciding on a mental health professional, do your due diligence and conduct your own research before you entrust the personal details of your life to a professional. Your solicitor can be a helpful resource in providing you with a list of reputable and highly trained experts in the very area in which you seek assistance. There are many healthcare professionals in Hong Kong who have dealt with divorcing couples and can provide you and your family with helpful tools on how to navigate these difficult waters.
  3. When Should A Mental Health Professional Be Employed In Your Divorce?  Deciding on whether to enlist the help of a mental health professional is a personal decision. Consider therapy if you believe it can offer support and assistance in your own personal growth journey. Consider therapy if you are struggling with mental illness, which may be triggered or exacerbated by the circumstances surrounding your divorce. Talk to your solicitor to determine if a mediator is needed to resolve disputed children’s issues in your divorce. Your solicitor may have insight as to whether these third-party experts will be helpful to your case. You and your spouse may even consider enlisting the help of these trained mental health professionals for your children, especially if they are struggling with the “new normal” of the family dynamics.  However, when doing so, make sure that the children are amenable to the idea as it truly is up to a child on whether he or she wants to attend therapy.  Respect your child’s privacy if he or she chooses to attend therapy to resolve issues related to the divorce and remember not to use it as a weapon against the other spouse in your divorce.
  4. Consider Other Forms Of Mental Health Support: Finally, mental health support does not need to be limited to therapy. Consider mediation, yoga or other forms of physical exercise to boost your mood, mind, confidence and self-esteem. A healthy lifestyle, hobbies, journal practice and gratitude and appreciation lists are also helpful ways to boost your mood and confidence.  Change is difficult to adapt to, but be hopeful in that change is good and there are better things ahead.

Your solicitor is available to support you through the divorce process and can provide you not only with legal assistance but emotional support as well.  Do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it.  There is no shame in asking for help to bring your mental state to a better place.

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