Category Archives: Separation

5 Important Things to Do Before You File for Divorce

When a couple decides to divorce, it is usually never a spontaneous decision but rather a long evolving process that has culminated to this point over a period of time. It is important that during this process, you are prepared should you and your spouse decide to file for divorce. There are many things you can do to prepare for divorce and in this article, we will provide you with some useful tips on what to consider ahead of a divorce:

Thoughtfully Consider Whether Divorce Is Right For You: Before you jump into a decision to divorce, it is important that you thoughtfully consider whether divorce is the right option for you. Many couples for example, choose separation over divorce especially if there are health insurance or religious reasons to consider. Divorce is a life-changing decision and it should not be made spontaneously but considered over a period of time after you have had an opportunity to consider what divorce would mean for you and your children. During this time, you may want to speak to a therapist or even try couples counseling in an attempt to either solidify your decision to divorce or reconsider divorce.
Have Thorough Discussions With Your Spouse (and Children) and Your Solicitor: Before you divorce, you may want to have a series of discussions with your spouse about whether divorce is the right decision for you as a couple and for the family. In your discussions, you may want to discuss whether divorce is the right option for you as a couple and if you do divorce, how would that look. For example, in your discussions with your spouse, you could talk about how you want to divide finances or how to split care and control of the children. Generally speaking, if you have mature and reasoned discussions with your spouse prior to the filing of a divorce Petition, there is more possibility that your divorce will not be litigious since you and your spouse have discussed the divorce beforehand. If you surprise your spouse with divorce papers, there may be shock and feelings of betrayal involved which may not bode well going forward in the divorce. Additionally, you may want to schedule an initial meeting with a solicitor to discuss divorce and what it would mean for you to file for divorce and discuss your legal rights and any concerns/questions you may have related to a divorce. The solicitor will be able to guide you as to the timing of your divorce petition and the things to consider when filing for your divorce petition. This initial information-gathering meeting is important so that you are prepared for what’s to come.
Gather All Necessary Information/Documents For Your Divorce: If you have decided to divorce, you will want to start organizing your life. For example, this is now the time to gather all the necessary information/documentation related to your finances so that you are aware of your financial health. You will need to disclose this information to your solicitor who will then prepare all the necessary financial disclosure documents for the Court. If you do not have this information, it will be harder for your solicitor to prepare the financial disclosure documents that are necessary in your divorce. It is also not beneficial for you to be in the dark about your finances as you will need to prepare your life post-divorce and this includes being financially independent. In the event that you are filing a non-molestation order against your spouse, this is also the time to gather all the necessary documents and photos to support your allegations against your spouse. If you have children, it will be important to collect all the information/documentation related to their daily schedule and any other pertinent information you believe is necessary related to care and control.
Consider Your Wishes For The Divorce Regarding Finances and Children: After you have spoken to your spouse and had the initial information-gathering meeting with your solicitor, this may now be the time for you to consider what you want from the divorce. How do you want to move forward with the divorce? Do you want to attempt mediation first? Do you and your spouse already have an agreement in place prior to a divorce? Have you reviewed your finances to consider how much maintenance (if you are entitled to it) you will need to pay for your day-to-day needs and the needs of the children? How much time do you want with the children and/or how much time will you agree to your spouse having with the children? These are a few of the important questions to ponder upon and discuss with your solicitor.
Make Necessary Plans For Your Life Post-Divorce: Another aspect you should thoughtfully consider is how you want your life to look post-divorce. Do you plan to remain living in Hong Kong or do you want to relocate to another city/country? Will you propose to take the children with you? How much money will you need to sustain your lifestyle each month? Will you need to work or switch jobs? This is your time to brainstorm how you want to plan your life once you are divorced and to start making all the necessary plans to reach those goals. Your solicitor can assist you with this process and provide you with guidance on how you can reach your goals. You may also consider retaining a financial planner to help you with your finances and budget accordingly.

With all the tips above, the key component is open communication with both your spouse and solicitor and also knowing what you want both in a divorce and thereafter. Whilst it may be difficult, divorce should be viewed almost like a business transaction as you and your spouse are each now negotiating the best deal for oneself. It may be easy for emotions to get involved, but the less emotion involved, the easier the process will be. Speak to your solicitor who can help you through this challenging journey.

Divorcing Over 50

The unfortunate reality is that divorce can happen at any stage in a marriage. As relationships continuously evolve, there may come a point where it no longer works and both parties have decided to move on. For some couples, this can happen later in life and in some cases, after the children have grown and left the nest.

Divorce after 50 does not mean your life is over and it can be an opportune time to reevaluate your life and take advantage of the many opportunities and adventures that lie ahead. Here are some tips to help the transition.

Educate Yourself with your Divorce and your Finances: The divorce process is overwhelming at any age and regardless of what stage you are at in your life, it is important for you to become educated about your divorce and your rights. Make sure to speak with a solicitor so that you understand what the divorce process looks like, the timing of how things will progress, the details of your financial health in a divorce and most importantly, what the divorce will mean for your children if they are still under the age of 18 years. If your spouse was the main breadwinner and/or individual in charge of the finances in your marriage, now is the time to become acquainted with your finances and understand what your future finances will look like. This might also be an opportune time to hire a financial planner so that you know how much you can spend and how much you will need to save for the future. Will a divorce require you to find a job and earn income of your own? What additional income do you need to pay your day-to-day expenses? How much money can you save and will need to save post-divorce? These are some of the questions you will need to ask your financial planner so you are aware of your financial health. The goal is to become financially independent which will ultimately result in greater life satisfaction for you.
Start New Hobbies and Make New Friends: A divorce does not mean your life is over. Yes, it will mean that you will need to adapt to a new normal but that new normal can be exciting and full of adventure. If you still have minor children and they are not with you 100% of the time, the extra time that you have when your children are living with your spouse will give you the opportunity to spend time with friends, explore new hobbies and make new friends. Even if you are in your older years, it does not mean your life is over but rather it is just getting started and you now have a second chance opportunity to explore all the things you wish you could have done in your younger years. Starting new hobbies that may include physical fitness is a form of self-care which is so important if you are to find fulfilment and satisfaction in your life.
Start Dating: Your golden years is also an opportune time to start dating again. This is especially true if your children have grown up and moved away. Explore the dating world, get to know others and yourself in the process. Social connections are good for humans and building upon new relationships is what you might just need to move on and let go of the past.

Regardless of where you are at in the divorce process, it is important to see it as a new opportunity and new adventure to move forward in your life despite the difficulties of the journey. Be sure to surround yourself with supportive family and friends. It is also important to partner up with a solicitor that is supportive of you and provides you sound, reasonable advice so that he/she can make carry many of the legal burdens for you and support you along the way.

Impact Of Divorce On Your Children

Children are resilient and it is true that in divorce, your child will adjust to the new normal that is established between you and your co-parent. It is important however, to remember that even if your child is adjusting well to a divorce, there are things you can do as a parent to help them adjust to the changes in a more seamless and healthy way. Here are some tips to consider to help ease the adjustment for your children in a divorce:

Do Not Involve The Children In The Divorce Process: One way to help your children adjust to the divorce is not to involve them in the divorce process. Many times, parents involve their children in a divorce by divulging details about the legal proceedings and the emotional difficulties the parent is facing in the divorce. It is important not to involve your children in the divorce because when you do involve them, it will cloud the way they see the other parent and this is not healthy for their relationship with the other parent. This could also be used as ammunition against you in legal proceedings and be classified as parental alienation. Rather than focus on the litigation fight, focus instead on the bigger picture. You and your ex-spouse will have to co-parent with one another for the rest of your lives. You will both want to be at your child’s wedding and will want to have an ongoing relationship with them forever. It is better to be at peace with your ex-spouse in the co-parenting journey rather than fight with one another and be embroiled in drama that is unnecessary and unhealthy for all individuals involved. Importantly, children are too young to understand the legal complexities of divorce. It is already difficult for adults to understand the legal issues in a divorce so imagine how hard it must be for children to understand it. If you want emotional support, rather than turn to the children, reach out instead to other family members or trusted friends to provide the support you need.
Promote and Facilitate Open Communication: As a co-parent it is imperative that you facilitate and encourage open communication. This includes open communication between the co-parent and the children, but it is also helpful if as co-parents, you are able to openly communicate with each other in cordial and friendly way. The way in which you communicate with one another will have a great impact on the way your children will view you and how they deal with their own relationships in the future. If you are involved in a litigious divorce and open communication is difficult, you do not have to apologize for the fact that communication is impossible with the co-parent. However, you can still encourage open communication and relationship between the co-parent and the children. Regardless of what you are feeling and the intense emotions you may have for the other parent, it should not impact the love and relationship you encourage between the children and the other parent. You want your child to have a good relationship with the other parent as it will impact their development. Having a strained or non-existent relationship with a parent will only have dire effects on a child and their future relationships going forward.
Consider Spending Time Together As A Family: This is a controversial tip however a good one to consider. It may be difficult, and almost impossible in some broken families to continue to spend time together as a family unit after a divorce, but it can be done. When it is done in a healthy way, the outcome can be beautiful and wonderful healthy relationships can be forged on the basis that even though “mommy and daddy” have divorced, there is still friendship. By establishing a friendship post-divorce with your ex-spouse, you are demonstrating to the children that the family is available to support him/her and that the family love is not lost. It may take time to achieve a healthy and peaceful dynamic but it is worth considering reaching for this post-divorce family goal!

Do not be shy about speaking with your solicitor on his/her tips on how to forge a healthy family dynamic post-divorce. Your divorce solicitor is not only there to provide you with legal advice but he/she can also provide you with tips on how to have a healthy divorce rather than a litigious divorce. If your divorce solicitor only encourages litigation and division among the family, you may want to consider another divorce solicitor, one who is more focused on helping you achieve a healthy dynamic post-divorce.

Yearly Recap of Some of The Most Interesting Divorce Stories in 2022

The year of 2022 was not short of interesting and sometimes shocking divorce stories from around the world. To wrap up the year, we have put together a list of some of the more interesting stories that have been circulating the web over the last year:

Celebrity Breakup: One of the top celebrity breakups was surprise divorce between uber famous Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele Bundchen. It was reported that Gisele gave Tom an ultimatum to choose their family or his NFL career after his short retirement. Both Tom and Gisele released joint statements after filing for divorce on October 29, 2022 and they are expected to amicably raise their children despite the divorce.
Pet Custody In China: A couple in China decided to divorce and whilst they had no children, they did have a pet Corgi. The Corgi was at the center of their divorce, with both pet parents wanting full custody of the dog. The wife argued that she deserved ownership of the dog because she purchased the dog but also raised the Corgi. The husband acknowledged that he did not feed the dog or clean up after it as much as his wife, but that he walked the dog regularly and considered the Corgi as his child. The Court in China accepted that the dog was a joint asset of the marriage but it could not be divided as a normal asset would. Eventually the couple reached an agreement and the Corgi lived with the wife. The husband had regular visitation and he agreed to pay monthly alimony for the dog’s monthly expenses.
Highest Divorce Rate: Maldives, Kazakhstan and Russia have been listed as the top places in the world with the highest divorce rate. Also on the list for 2022 was Belgium, Belarus Moldova, China, Cuba, Ukraine and Denmark.
Top Reasons for Divorce: In another report, lack of commitment, communication issues and infidelity topped the list on the main reasons for divorce.
No Fault Divorce in England and Wales: On 6^th April 2022, England and Wales adopted a “No-Fault Divorce Law” pursuant to the Divorce Dissolution and Separation Act, which allows couples to legally separate without either party having to admit any wrongdoing. This is a change from the previous law in the United Kingdom where parties filed for Divorce citing fault either by way of adultery or unreasonable behaviour or desertion. Whilst couples in the United Kingdom can opt for divorce based on 2 years’ separation, this basis for divorce requires consent from the other party and if no consent is received, parties must be separated for an additional 5 years before a Petition for Divorce can be filed.

That wraps up the year of 2022! We at Hong Kong Divorce are here to provide you with as much useful information as possible to make your divorce journey as smooth as possible. If you are thinking about divorce or wish to file, be sure to speak with a solicitor who can assist you along the way. We at Hong Kong Divorce wish you a very Happy Holidays and an even better New Year of 2023!

No-Fault Divorce in the UK_Is This What’s In Store For Hong Kong?

On 6^th April 2022, England and Wales adopted a “No-Fault Divorce Law” pursuant to the Divorce Dissolution and Separation Act, which allows couples to legally separate without either party having to admit any wrongdoing. As Editor-in-Chief at Hong Kong Divorce and as a qualified attorney with the State Bar of California and a member of the United States District Court, Southern District of California and United States District Court, Central District of California since 2007, I wanted to discuss No-Fault Divorce and how the new law in the United Kingdom compares to No-Fault Divorce in California.

Under this new No-Fault Divorce law in the United Kingdom, parties filing for Divorce can file a joint application for divorce without the need to cite terms such as Adultery or “Unreasonable Behaviour” and thus pointing to the conduct of the other party. This is a change from the previous law in the United Kingdom where parties filed for Divorce citing fault either by way of adultery or unreasonable behaviour or desertion. Whilst couples in the United Kingdom can opt for divorce based on 2 years’ separation, this basis for divorce requires consent from the other party and if no consent is received, parties must be separated for an additional 5 years before a Petition for Divorce can be filed.

No-Fault Divorce has long been something followed in California. In fact, California was the first state in the USA to enact a No-Fault Divorce law. This law was signed by Governor Ronald Reagan, a divorced and remarried movie star at the time and came into effect in 1970. Many states in the USA now follow the No-Fault Divorce law including New York, Florida, Washington and Hawaii, among others.

For those in favour of the No-Fault Divorce law, the benefit of the move towards this new law is that the litigious heat that many couples face in divorce will be taken out of the divorce process as the courts will no longer look to fault and the reasons behind the breakdown of the marriage. Instead, the view and hope are that the parties will instead focus on a more collaborative way forward in resolving issues related to children and financial division. In the United Kingdom, industry leaders are embracing the move towards the No-Fault divorce law as “fault” creates unnecessary conflict and in fact, many believe that “fault” has no bearing on the outcome of financial proceedings.

It is true that in California, there are at times litigious divorces even though it is a No-Fault state. Many parties can bring in “fault” through declarations and testimonies filed with the Court in support of their motions for relief. It is not a perfect system. And it is likely that in the United Kingdom, while the hope may be to create a more harmonious environment for divorcing parties, there still will be loopholes where parties’ attempts to bring in information to prove fault and blame will remain to play a pivotal role in the divorce. However, similar to what California has seen in their No-Fault divorce system, the United Kingdom judges will no longer focus on what caused the breakdown of the marriage and instead focus on simply moving the divorce forward and focusing on the wishes of the parties to end the marriage.

With the new law in effect as of 6^th April 2022, the parties can now file for divorce and cite “irreconcilable differences” which is how divorcing parties file for divorce in California and other No-Fault states. In addition to the citation of “irreconcilable differences” the parties will then file for a condition order (similar to a Decree Nisi in Hong Kong, which is a first step towards a divorce or Decree Absolute) and then once that is granted, the parties can then apply for a final order (Decree Absolute).

The big question many are now asking is whether the process in the United Kingdom with No-Fault divorce will result in a quicker divorce process. According to experts in the United Kingdom, there will be a minimum period of 20 weeks from the commencement of the proceedings to the conditional order. In California, the courts provide parties an opportunity to ponder upon the divorce and provides opportunity for reconciliation during the “waiting period.” In California under Section 2339(a) of the California Family Code, the waiting period is six (6) months and begins once the Summons and Petition for Divorce is filed or the date of appearance of the Respondent, whichever occurs first. This minimum 6-month period to obtain a divorce is to allow the parties sufficient time for parties to change their mind about the divorce and to reconcile.

The England and Wales No-Fault Divorce law follows the likes of many other international countries who have also adopted this No-Fault divorce including Australia (Family Law Act 1975), Canada (The Divorce Act 1968) and Sweden. Whether the No-Fault divorce law will incite more divorces in the United Kingdom is yet to be seen. Proponents against No-Fault divorce argue that this will only increase the filing of divorce petitions, in addition to the fact that without allowing fault to be introduced into the discussion, judges will make important decisions without consideration of the facts, behaviour and circumstances that led to the breakdown of the marriage.

A big question among practitioners and clients in Hong Kong is whether the Hong Kong courts will follow the United Kingdom by introducing No-Fault Divorce. This is yet to be seen but it is likely that if Hong Kong courts decide to move towards No-Fault Divorce, it will take much time and consideration before any decisions are made. History has demonstrated that Hong Kong courts are slow to follow the United Kingdom and thus, only time will tell if Hong Kong decides to move towards No-Fault Divorce.

5 Important Things to Do Before You File for Divorce

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