Many individuals describe the divorce experience as being similar to a death in the family. For some, the divorce process can take years and it is truly an emotionally and physically taxing journey that requires patience and resilience. At some point however, once the divorce is finalized, it will then be important for you to move on with your life. This should certainly be an exciting time for you as life is finally moving on and you are embarking on a new adventure.
- Get Your Finances In Order: This has been a central theme in all of our articles here at Hong Kong Divorce. Once you are divorced and have a better idea of the monies coming in and going out, it is important to ensure that your finances are in order. This may involve retaining a financial planner to assist you in helping you create a plan or a budget which carefully and thoughtfully considers your day-to-day needs and for your future. You will want to review your finances regularly and keep track of your spending and saving patterns so that you can continue to be aware of where you stand financially post-divorce. This will involve good record-keeping and if you are unable to do this yourself, you can always enlist the help of a professional to assist you or download relevant finance apps that could help you keep track of your finances in an organized manner.
- Be Thoughtful In Speaking About The Divorce With Your Children: If you have children and are co-parenting post-divorce, it is important to speak appropriately to your children about the divorce and about the other parent. If you want to maintain peaceful and cooperative co-parenting, you will need to play a big role in keeping the peace. Children should be kept out of adult discussions and should not play a role in having to mediate arguments or disagreements between you and your spouse. If you have any issues, speak directly with your co-parent and do your best not to disrespect your co-parent by bad-mouthing him/her to the children.
- Join A Support Group: If you are having a hard time moving on after divorce, this may be the time to consider joining a support group. A support group or therapist can help you process the feelings you are going through post-divorce and a support group may provide you with new friendships with like-minded individuals going through the same process. Sometimes, discussing your divorce with family and friends may not be enough and they will only want you to skip ahead to your happy ending. However, moving forward may require you to process the divorce and discuss it at great length. A therapist or support groups can provide you with this support and is a safe space for you to vent about the emotions you are going through. Speaking to a therapist or joining a support group will allow you to be in an environment that is judgment-free and will help make you feel less lonely as others are also going through the same circumstances.
- Focus On Self-Care & Rediscover What Makes You Happy: This is also a great time for you to focus on your own self-care. This can include you figuring out what makes you happy and learning who you are as a single adult. There are many avenues of self-care to consider including exercise, nutrition, hobbies and passions and reconnecting again with family and friends that you may have not had time for previously. This is also the time to rediscover what makes you happy and what you want out of your life going forward. How do you want your future to look like? What active steps can you put into place in order to reach your goals?
It is important to note that as you move on with your life post-divorce, the time it takes to heal and get settled into your new normal may vary from individual to individual. During this healing process, be kind to yourself and allow yourself the time and space to move forward on your own schedule. No one can tell you how to heal or how long it will take to heal and move on. As long as you are taking active steps to dust yourself off and move on, even if it is baby steps, you are doing the best you can!